The Wind Down, 10/21/2014

Be real, this Macho Man tribute to Mr. Perfect is the greatest thing ever made by anybody ever. The Mona Lisa, Scream, Sunflowers, Sunrise, Hamlet, David, fuck y’all. Y’all on notice, aright? Actually, I’m watching The Simpsons “Bart’s Comet” right now and it really might be the best episode of any show ever. Everything about it is just fucking awful for every character involved. Goddammit that’s good. Anywho, here’s a bunch of other stuff that I hope will infect your brain like a mind slug or a hypno-toad. Good night and/or good morning. (Did I get that right, finally?) Continue reading…

 

David Ortiz took a selfish

This picture disturbs me for a lot of reasons. First, there’s David Ortiz being involved. Second, Frank Thomas seems to have had some of his skull shaved off. Third, I think they’re at a green screen stadium. Fourth, Frank Thomas may actually be a cardboard cutout. Fifth, It kind of looks like Frank Thomas has hand on Ortiz’s leg. Sixth, David Ortiz’s suit. Seventh, is Ortiz straddling a guard rail? Taking a selfish indeed.

 

The Wind Down, 10/20/2014

Aliens invading Long Beach via boat

Aliens invading Long Beach via boat

Have you ever noticed how sitting around by yourself drinking a lot of beer and watching TV for hours on end isn’t a very good confidence builder? Also, if you sit wrong you can end up with a pain in your neck that seems to haunt the rest of your life. So, anyway, enough about science and research. How was your day? Uh huh. Go on. Welp, that’s great, glad to hear it. Here’s a bunch of links. Good night and good morning. Continue reading…

 

World Series 2014 Preview Post

Those stupid little flags bug me for some reason

Those stupid little flags bug me for some reason

THE WAY TOO EARLY!!!™ World Series Preview Post is here as a remembrance of a season that went so well for some of us and burned into ashes at the hands of a team that we all took for granted. For the last month of the season all I hoped for was that the Orioles would fluke their way into playing the lowly Royals in the ALCS and then waltz into the Series. I can live with that kind of luck. Remember when the Tigers and A’s cemented their spots in the ALCS at the trade deadline? Remember the Angels rampaging through the season once they set their murderer’s row of relievers to complement the best offense in the game? Well, none of that matters now. Even the entirety of the NL kind of sucking doesn’t matter now. Because here we are. Continue reading…

 

Gone Girl: a spoilery discussion

gone-girl-poster1

I’ll give you one big spoiler right off the bat but I’ll save the rest for below the fold. I didn’t really like Gone Girl very much. It didn’t hit me as profound and it’s not problematic in the way that I expected it to be. I might need to give it a second shot but I feel like a lot of the rapture surrounding it as achievement is just so much more auteurist theory run amok. If somebody besides David Fincher had made the movie, I think the audience dynamics and expectations and forgivenesses would change radically even if it were the exact same flick from start to finish. It’s the same thing that happens every time there’s a new Scorsese movie now.

IF YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT SPOILERS YOU DESERVE BAD THINGS IN LIFE. THERE ARE SPOILERS. IF IT RUINS THE MOVIE FOR YOU THEN YOU ARE WATCHING THE MOVIE FOR THE WRONG REASONS. Continue reading…

 

The Wind Down, 10/19/2014

This is some kind of mole that actually lives somewhere on earth

This is some kind of mole that actually lives somewhere on earth

Ahhhh, Monday morning! Yeah, that’s not how that song goes. I gotta tell you something about me. When I was a kid and I had a Summer break or a Christmas break, the dread I had the night before class started back up was so heavy on me that I seriously considered faking a fatal illness. I’m back in the office tomorrow! Or, as you read this or soon after you read this. I collected a bunch of these things on Friday night so they may or may not be new and exciting. Good night and good morning! Continue reading…