Your Guide To Degenerate Football on TV for 11/22/2014

Ready for the footballs. All of them. This is not an invitation to dip your balls in it unless you are a fucking cretin.

Ready for the footballs. All of them. This is not an invitation to dip your balls in it unless you are a fucking cretin.

This is all about gambling, I suppose. I don’t really bet but I understand the mechanics of it and I know why most people would get emotionally invested in a Fordham @ Army tilt. A tilt I won’t cover in spite of its early spot on CBS Sports because I don’t like wasting valuable capsules on 1-AA teams (or Army at this point, really.) Still, if you are somehow being more productive with your day than passing out on the couch at 6pm and waking up at 9pm with the feeling that all moisture has been sucked out of your body and you aren’t sure if you’ve eaten all day, then the only selling point for these games is probably that you have money on them. Fine. Continue reading…


HEISMANIC: Week 13, 2014

This is the only proof I could find that Nebraska actually tried to defend Melvin Gordon last week.

Every time it gets late in any kind of season/cycle/deadline crunch I always get the Buffalo Springfield song “Down To The Wire” stuck in my head but I always think of it with Neil Young’s actual lyrics changed to, “Every time you see her sets your balls on fire.” And then I chuckle to myself about something that I’ve only ever said out loud to like two people. Anyway, we’re getting down to the wire with the Heisman race and maybe now NOW you will all believe me that Melvin Gordon is no regular Wisconsin stat-compiling RB. Never mind that the only real compiler was Ron Dayne. Montee Ball’s junior season was flukey but he didn’t get an undue amount of carries. Enough about that, let’s get to the HEISMANIC NATIONAL PLAYER OF THE YEAR AWARD VIRTUAL TROPHY RANKINGS for this, the 13th week of the college football season. Continue reading…


Charlie Sifford and Why His Legacy Is Limited

Charlie Sifford

Charlie Sifford

Last week, our friend @BushMush suggested a post on Charlie Sifford in light of the announcement of his honor by the White House. This was a rather obvious topic to tackle for a golf blog so I agreed immediately to do so with a guarantee of a post in our normal Thursday morning slot. That was Monday morning and after 6 or 7 re-writes, I finally conceded that whatever I had written simply wasn’t good enough and begged a postponement for a week. This space is something I do for fun. I am not trained nor do I even pretend to be a “writer” by any stretch. Thus, a post from a 43-year old white man on the legacy of Charlie Sifford in golf is absurd. To borrow from President Obama, it’s way above my pay grade. Nevertheless, there also doesn’t seem to be any reason not to try. Race relations require debate and open dialogue. Both are scarce resources in the Twitter age. What we will try to do here is rather than look at history extensively we will instead evaluate what has changed for the PGA and golf itself since Sifford broke a lesser known “color barrier.” Continue reading…


The Wind Down, 11/19/2014

Thanksgiving is one week from now.

Thanksgiving is one week from now.

I am tired, I am weary. I could sleep for a thousand years. There was a guy shooting people on the campus of Florida State tonight. I haven’t seen anything about who the guy was or what set him off or any specifics except that he is probably dead now and it happened in and around the library. I’m sure this will be in and out of the news in a day or two. It is to be hoped that the guy is never named and nobody remembers him. Anyway, the links aren’t all so downbeat. Let’s get over there. Good night and good morning. Continue reading…


Lane Kiffin to the Swamp

Rumors are shooting around the interwebs of Lane Kiffin being contacted by the University of Florida Athletic Administration in regards to their soon to be vacant position of head football coach. The compelling arguments for? His father-in-law is an all-time great Gator, his wife is a UF grad, he’s a great recruiter, he’s apparently been contacted. Continue reading…


Breaking down the College Football Playoff Rankings for Week 13, 2014

If you follow @CFBPlayoff on twitter you win a free year’s worth of depression.

So here we are. I’ve got a long-term theory about this whole stupid playoff committee and I think we’re seeing it play out the exact hateful way I expect it to. You know how we all take it on faith that Marshall doesn’t belong in the playoffs because fuck them and who do they play? Well, fine, you’re stupid for not ever even watching them to make your own determination but you have to be willing to admit that a 10-0 team is probably in the top 20% of the sport, right? Well, not if you’re on the committee. Yes, Marshall has played nobody of note but it’s not like they’re squeaking by on a weekly basis. Let it be known, though, that no “group of 5″ school is going to break through to the playoffs any time soon and that isn’t an accident. Oh, well, it’s your loss for watching shit like Miss St. – Alabama at the expense of what else is on. Continue reading…