College football can be forgiven very easily. Last weekend’s abomination lineup is pushed to the rear of mind, and replaced by an unbelievable weekend of football. You want ranked games? There are four this weekend. That doesn’t include a pretty solid South Carolina vs. UCF nooner on ABC. I’m going to sew myself to the couch…
LSU vs. Georgia
Trey: LSU takes in their first real, real test of the year when they head into Athens. Even ignoring Georgia’s Defensive ED, these are the type games that the Bulldogs just absolutely blow in. You remember that Alabama game a few years ago, where the Tide farted once and it was 21-0? It won’t be that bad, but LSU pulls away late. (Semi-fun note: Zach Mettenberger was once a dog)
Watsonian: Georgia, the great pretenders that they are, will be touted as being a legitimate test for LSU. It’s all part of the that SEC self-fulfilling prophecy hype machine. Sure, it’s a conference road game, but that’s all the test there is. Don’t buy the hype. UGA has more holes on defense that need to be filled than the Kardashian sisters. LSU, who has been the one truly impressive SEC team to this point, is going to win by double digits.
Oklahoma vs. Notre Dame
Trey: Notre dame is ranked, but its like one of those early season ghost shit rankings, there is really nothing backing it to this point. Looking at the Irish schedule, there isn’t a single team on it that couldn’t beat these guys. (And that’s not some compliment, their schedule isn’t insane or anything ). Besides Oklahoma is very underrated, for once…
Watsonian: Notre Dame is about as “blah” as a football team could be. At best, they’re mediocre. At worst, they are vomit inducing (they should be in the Big Ten). They’re the football equivalent of a 3 Musketeers bar. They’re the nouget of NCAA football. Yeah, some people might think nouget is good, but deep down we all know it’s disgusting.
Wisconsin vs. Ohio State
Trey: With Braxton Miller getting the nod, what will be the Buckeye reaction if on his first pass he rears back and throws a pick 6? Wisconsin probably isn’t good enough to beat this team without some divine intervention. (i.e. – a Biblical plague or two, preferably involving boils)
Watsonian: OSU is the pretty girl of the Big Ten. She’s surrounded herself by a bunch of fatties (especially Wisconsin) and looks good in comparison. Yeah, she looks great now, but one day, let’s say in January, someone truly hotter is gonna come and blow her out of the water. Oregon? Stanford? LSU? Yeah, one of them.
Ole Miss vs. Alabama
Trey: With all the shit people are throwing on Alabama, they’re due to aim the scuds west and just blow the pants off someone to remind the college football world who they are, and why they shouldn’t be eff’d with.
Watsonian: Bama has had games where the offense has struggled and games where the defense has struggled. They’ve been inconsistent, yet they’re still ranked number one in the country (which makes no sense). One of these days, that inconsistency is going to bite them in the ass. Not this weekend though.
South Carolina vs. UCF
Trey: If Louisville’s warp zone to an undefeated AAC friendly season has any chance of freezing, it’s against UCF. No, I don’t think George O’Leary’s Knights will beat South Carolina, but they’ll give them (what’s the next closest thing to a heart attack)a mild case of a-fib. Always scary to go on the road and become a smaller school’s “biggest game ever” though.
Watsonian: The Ol’ Ball Coach is not losing a game to a mid-major.
Arizona vs. Washington
Trey: I forgot Arizona played football. I also forgot Rich Rodriguez is their coach. The reason? They’ve tapped danced through an field of corpses to go 3-0. That doesn’t mean Arizona is bad, you’re just not going to get props when you wait until week 5 to take your first real steps in a season. Washington, on the other hand, has been tested.
Watsonian: The Pac-12 has been the best and deepest conference so far this season. And these two are both good teams. This will probably be the most entertaining game of the day.
California vs. Oregon
Trey: OFFFFFFFFFFFFFENSE. Oregon wins by four scores. Final Oregon 71- Cal 43
Watsonian: This game is going to get ugly. The Ducks have been the best team in the country, and they’ll continue to look it against the geeks from Berkeley.
Stanford vs. Wazzou
Trey: Wazzou gave Stanford all they could handle last year, losing 24-17 in Palo Alto. Of course that was a Josh Nunes “look at the cat smack the fuzzball” led Stanford offense. The next week they started Kevin Hogan who was a like a lighter next to Nunes’s two wet sticks rubbing really really hard. I will say this, if there is an upset in Week 5, it’s in Seattle (I think the game is in Seattle).
Watsonian: Stanford is a legitimate national title contender. Wazzou beat USC and is coached by the always competent Mike Leach. As I said above, the Pac 12 is the best and deepest conference in the country. Wazzou, who might be the 7th or 8th best team in the conference, will give Stanford a tough game. They won’t win, but it will be close.