If I ever start recreationally huffing painters glue and as a result of brain decay run off to Washington, DC to take up a hardline political cause while forgetting to shower over several weeks, it will be to get the tournament back to 64 teams. Those four extra bids allow teams that drown their seasons in suck to be on the bubble. Those four extra bids give us a worthless two days of “First Four” basketball that does nothing more than taint my minute, March fed gambling problem. Those 4 bids leave the bracket looking like a kindergartener’s drawing of what appears to be deranged and sickly house cat, causing my OCD to fight my sense of enjoyment. I hate those 4 teams…For example.
This is the time of year where teams start touting their “signature wins” and the Virginia “Thank Saturn for those four extra teams” Cavaliers has three of that nature. I’ll spare you the research, they are North Carolina, NC State, and an absolute gem in Duke. The problem for Virginia isn’t the “lack of signature wins” (a phrase all the talking heads love to point out), it’s the “dookie in your drawers losses” (a phrase that I just made up). To count, the Cavaliers have lost so many bad games (7 teams below or near .500 to be exact), that it negates all the fanfare anyone can throw at the program. One of those losses? 5 win Old Dominion. Yeah, they lost to a team in a BAD conference who boasts a resume that has 4 other wins outside of Virginia, but we’re supposed to be doing backflips because these guys figure out a way to best Duke…
To another point, signature wins are only of real value if said wins took place in February or early March. Yeah, the committee has never been shy about telling people how you’re playing going into the tourney is something they look at. That’s more than fair. That being said, there is a team that goes 5-5 in their last 10, stands south of the bubble ALWAYS pulls some lame late breaking upset over a highly ranked school that requires us to think more positively about them, despite the other 32 or so shitshows on the schedule. That team goes from elephant taint to riding bareback in a matter of seconds. Fair? Not always, but it happens. This year’s detainted one might be Baylor who despite going 4-8 in their last 12 contests shelved a top 5 Kansas team Saturday. SOME PEOPLE ARE PUTTING THEM IN. It’s the Ted Bundy Effect.
Ladies and Gentlemen. This is what the 4 extra teams gives you.
BE SURE TO WATCH THE FIRST FOUR ON truTV.
Followed by a new episode of Storage Hunters.
You know, the rip-off storage show that doesn’t feature Brandi Passante.
GAWD, Jarrod is so out of her league.
Did you know they have kids, so she’s “stuck” with him?
Your One School Conference Bids (20) :
America East – Stony Brook
Atlantic Sun – Florida Gulf Coast
Big Sky – Weber State
Big South– Liberty
Big West – Long Beach State
Colonial – Northeastern
MAC – Ohio
MEAC – Norfolk State
Northeast – LIU-Brooklyn
Ohio Valley – Belmont
Patriot – Bucknell
Southern – Davidson
Southland – Stephen F. Austin
Southwestern – Texas-Southern
Summit – South Dakota State
WAC – Louisiana Tech
Your Multiple Bid Leagues (in order of finish):
A-10 (4) – Butler, VCU, St. Louis, Temple
ACC (4) – Duke, Miami, North Carolina, NC State
Big East (8) – Louisville, Georgetown, Marquette, Syracuse, Notre Dame, Pitt, Cincy, Villanova
Big 10 (7) – Indiana, Michigan, Michigan State, Ohio State, Wisconsin, Illinois, Minnesota
Big 12 (4) – Kansas, Kansas State, Oklahoma State, Oklahoma
Conference USA (2) – Memphis, Southern Miss
Missouri Valley (2) – Creighton, Wichita State
Mountain West (5) – New Mexico, Colorado State, UNLV, Boise State, San Diego State
Pac 12 (5) – UCLA, Arizona, Colorado, Cal, Oregon
SEC (3) – Florida, Missouri, Kentucky
Sun Belt (2) – FIU, Middle Tennessee State
WCC (2)- Gonzaga, St. Mary’s
And just missing the cut:
Tennessee, Iowa State, Virginia, Ole Miss, Baylor ß We need to immediately add 5 more teams to get these guys in.
UConn, because they’re a bunch of cheating felon bastards.
And your 1 seeds:
Gonzaga, Duke, Indiana, and Louisville