Dallas Cowboys being sued for burning a fan’s behind

I believe the proper defense for the Dallas Cowboys in this case of burning bottom, is “liar, liar pants on fire.”

Jenelle Carrillo, an apparent Cowboys fan, is suing the team and claiming she received 3rd degree burns after sitting on a hot bench, made of marble, while waiting to watch the team scrimmage outside Cowboys Stadium. Oh, this happened in 2010.

The plaintiff claims she sat down on a bench that exposed to the sun on a day where temperatures reached 101 degrees. Because it makes sense to sit down on a bench that is scorching hot. This screams genius and frivolous lawsuit.

“She knew, while she was there at the stadium, that she had received some burns. But she didn’t realize how serious they were until she received medical attention,” attorney Michael Walsh told the CBS affiliate in Dallas-Forth Worth.

Yep, frivolous. Let’s recap really quick. She sat down, on a hot bench, in 101 degree heat, ignored the fact that is was, um hot, and sat there while her buttocks burned up. I mean, this is like putting a hot cup of coffee between your legs while driving. There is no way a judge would rule in here favor. Right?

The woman apparently needed to have skin grafts performed after her initial treatment, which had lasted nearly a week at the hospital. Of course, she is seeking all the typical damages for physical and mental anguish. She is hoping that a jury of her peers will help her out. Better hope they are Texans fans and not pulling for America’s Team.

There has been no statement by the ‘Boys, which makes sense. This is a ridiculous lawsuit, and most likely will never reach the courts, as it is more likely for Jerry Jones to open his checkbook in a settlement.

  • Trey

    Tags: Lawyers are terrible people

    HEY! Ambulance chasers are horrible people. Not all attorneys

  • http://google Marco Rincones

    Pictures….We need pictures. The quality of the meat before it was fried should be taken into consideration by the judge.

  • Chipster64

    She’s got to be a Deadskins fan!

  • http://www.thevictoryformation.com Big D

    Pictures….We need pictures. The quality of the meat before it was fried should be taken into consideration by the judge.

    This guy gets it.

  • skinsfanmd


  • Alan Daggett

    Let’s hope she was drunk. That would be less embarassing than if she had her “wits” about her.

  • ross

    How stupid can one be…? To sit in hot marble on 101 degree day…


    You can’t fix stupid, but stupid might fix you! It fixed her!

  • KAY

    Did someone hold her down so she couldn’t get up off the set? Must have been wearing Cowboy cheerleader shorts, not much covered!

  • sharon

    People these days will sue someone over anything for money. I guess this woman has no feelings in her butt.
    Since she was that stupid to continue to sit on a hot seat.
    She knew the seat was hot. I guess she expected the Dallas Cowboys to have nice cold air conditioned outdoor seats.
    And was disappointed when they where not..
    it takes a special kind of stupid to continue to sit on a seat when your butt is frying..

  • Dennis Lippy

    I wish I were the judge……..She wouldn’t get a dime and would have to pay any moneys spent by the Dallas Cowboys to defend themselves…….Too bad there isn’t a fine for stupidity.

  • http://yardbarker Scott

    When it gets to court It will be like Jackie Chiles representing Kramer on Seinfeld You put the baum on who told you to put the baum on? ha ha ha They should put a law into place where if your lawsuit loses you pay the reverse of what your seeking plus attorney fees Frivolous lawsuits clog the court system and if this waterhead wasnt smart enough to add up Texas heat and marble then she deserves what she gets What an idiot!

  • walter griffin

    I think she had her head up her ass

  • https://www.facebook.com/#!/GHEFOS Ghefos Man

    Are you kidding me? #SHEFOS!

  • Exterminan

    She must have one HOT ASS…..

  • Dennis Carpenter

    This might be the only thing the Boys win this year

  • Ellie Reyna Champion

    Erm, the lady who spilled coffee in her lap: 1) was in the passenger seat, 2) was in a parked car with the engine off, 3) received skin-penetrating 3rd degree burns on her groin and inner thighs that required skin grafts and weeks of hospitalization in a sterile burn unit, and finally, 4) the McDonalds that served the coffee had already been cited previously by the health department for serving coffee that was dangerously hot and told to turn down the heat but had failed to do so.

    Stop drinking the insurance lobby’s Koolaid.

    If y’all lived in Alaska, the chances of a fan getting burned on a marble bench at summer camp would be pretty remote, but seeing as y’all are in Texas, where triple-digit heat waves are par for the course at that time of year? It’s a no-brainer that someone could get burned.

    Maybe Jerrah or one of the millionaires who play for the team could spring for heat-resistant covers for the benches or canopies to block the sun…seeing as it’s a problem likely to recur.

    It’s bad enough for the team to burn the fans’ a$$es with a lousy record and the huge monument to Jerrah’s ego. Unless you want to use the benches to pop popcorn, it’s a small thing to correct.

    • Dennis Lippy

      You sound just like a lawyer…..They can justify lawsuits for almost anything imaginable.

  • http://www.sportmentary.com Sportmentary

    She must have dropped out of the 6th grade, when they explained to students that black objects attract the heat. So kids, don’t sit on a black bench when it’s 100 degrees outside.

    This woman is a moron. I think she might have burned her brain when she stuck it in the oven. She’s probably suing the manufacturer for not warning her agaisnt doing that.

  • John

    I am shocked that a lawyer would take this case. ( Is my sarcasm to obvious)

    Just another day in the continual decline of brain tissues

  • Bill Maltby

    I don’t see an age listed for this moron, so I take it she is out off diapers. Any person with 1% common sense would know that 101 degree temp will make everything in the sun, not covered up will get hot as hell. I wonder if she is related to the stupid bimbo who sued McDonalds because they served her hot coffee. Any judge who lets this case come in his/her courtroom should be removed from the bench. This is a complete waste of taxpayer money. I would fight her all the way to the top court in the land. Especially Mr Jones with his money I would take her for everything just to prove what a moron she is. Maybe that would stop some of these morons for trying to get rich for being the moron they are. Some one has to put a stop to crap like this. Thanks for letting me vent. Maybe I’ll sue her for the mental stress of reading such BS. Is that possible?

  • steelhedgehogg

    WAS? ‘SHE’…