New York State Leads the Nation in Pussification

When I was about 10 years old, I was in the midst of my finest baseball season ever. I was hitting about .500* as a member of the Brewers in the Franklin Continental Baseball League. I remember an early cool and wet Saturday morning in the second-to-last game and we were playing the Red Sox. I was taking BP and ripping line drive after line drive. My coach wanted to challenge me and decided to start throwing a little bit harder, and I did my best to adjust to a speed I had never seen before. I was doing okay, a few foul balls or foul tips here and there, the occasional grounder up the middle, and bunch of pop ups. I was told to run the last one out before the pitch, so I dug into the batters box with every single intention of putting the ball into play. Unfortunately, I never even had the chance to run it out, as the ball got away from my coach and being that I never had the ball come that fast at me, my reaction was a tad slow….BAM! I took a shot to my right eye. As a 10-year-old, I rolled around on the ground screaming bloody murder and crying like a baby.

The ensuing moments were a blur, but I remember a teammates father putting me in his car and taking me to Beaumont Hospital as he contacted my parents from his car phone. No, not a cell phone, a car phone…first time I ever was able to talk on a phone from the car. It was way cool, even though my head was throbbing, blood was streaming down my face, and I had slightly blurred vision. My dad eventually met me at the hospital and I went through a battery of tests. I had a nice shiner with a nice cut, but no facial bone damage. We hurried back to the field with intention of getting back into the lineup only to find out that it was postponed. That was about the only thing we were upset about, not getting to play baseball that day.

It didn’t even cross my parents mind to ask the coach what the hell happened. Or blame the league for not providing a helmet with that annoying face guard they had on the helmets at the batting cage. It was just something that happens when sports are played at any level. Injuries. My parents didn’t complain or tell anyone a thing. Well, except me. I was told to hit the dirt next time.

But why do I even bring this up? Because the state of NY is actually battling over whether or not wiffle ball, dodgeball, kickball, freeze tag and even arts and crafts (ARTS AND F’N CRAFTS!!!!!) are safe.

Since this story first went public, state officials actually backed off their stance because the public pretty much lost its collective mind over it. They pathetically blamed it on former Governor David Paterson’s administrations policies.

“After a review spurred by a lawmaker’s questions Friday and subsequent news reports, they’ve been judged too detailed and amount to micromanagement,” a statement read.

Micromanagement? No no no no, this is wussification to the fullest. First, we started handing out trophies to every single kid. Then, we started handing out big trophies to every single kid. Then, we stopped keeping score at some events. Now, we are calling common gym activities and inexpensive sports dangers? I would absolutely love to know what arts and crafts are considered dangerous. I would assume it would be one where the kids use the scissors that don’t cut through construction paper. Heck, don’t kids use paste and elmers glue in school because it is non-toxic? There really is no rationalization for this. It is mindless.

We hear our First Lady out there promoting healthy living for kids. Eating healthy and exercising. I am not one to knock her for that, I think it is the right idea. But, here his an opportunity for kids to do just that and we have people wanting to put restrictions on it? I don’t know about you, but this puts a lot of fear in me. We are overprotecting our children and taking away fun and competition away from them little by little.

If you actually agree one bit with supporters of these policies, you really to need to stick a bink into your kids’ mouths, and your own as well.

*might be a slight exaggeration

  • HawkEye

    The other activity I saw on that list was Red Rover. I can wrap my head around that one. I’m surprised more kids haven’t been hurt with that one

  • http://thevictoryformation.com Dave K

    they can’t create enough force to hurt someone! The big kids that play are too fat to get any speed. if someone can, the chain breaks and nobody gets clotheslined. simple physics, man.

  • HawkEye

    I dunno. I remember clotheslining a couple kids back in the day. Game didn’t last long at school, since kids didn’t want to play it.

    Now King of the Hill, that one was banned

  • ButtersBC

    GLAAD ever take issue with Smear the Queer?

  • Trey

    So true. The souf will ryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyze ah-gain

  • knightwhosaysni

    broke my wrist in a little league game in an outfield collision when I was 13, didn’t even hurt for a half hour then it was excruciating. Never did get a cast though.

  • knightwhosaysni

    Smear the queer = loads of painful fun

  • ButtersBC

    Smear the queer = loads of painful fun

    That will toughen you up faster than seeing live combat

  • arkbadger

    It didn’t even cross my parents mind to ask the coach what the hell happened. Or blame the league for not providing a helmet with that annoying face guard they had on the helmets at the batting cage.

    but just think if you would have sued the shit out of them? you’d be loaded!!!

    /’Merica

  • cycledan

    My own son got hit in the face during a game in little league. We all ran over, made sure he was OK and then he took first base. He was fine other than a big bruise.
    What people don’t realize is that when people sue the local little league or other sports league, that makes it more expensive for all the kids to play and eventually kills the sport for everyone.

    I agree, all this suing is out of control. I read how how there are a fraction of the number of roller skating and ice skating rinks now and the main reason the article cited was the high cost of insurance. Look, if you go skating and fall, that is the risk you take. Same for skiing. Don’t fall down, hurt yourself and immediately want to sue. What we really need is a major overhaul of our legal system. People don’t understand the damage all these lawsuits do to society.

  • http://armchairsportsblogger.blogspot.com jpmanahan

    Look, the government should be encouraging (not hindering) people to go out and have a hobby / sport.

    Running has been the in vogue thing to do here and it feels like every weekend, there is always one running event in the usual venues.

  • http://cbhsports.blogspot.com cbh49er

    This is why China is taking over.

  • Triston27

    BAM! I took a shot to my right eye.

    Chin Music!

    Serves you right as I’m sure you were gloating after ripping off consecutive liners.

  • Knightro

    This is why China is taking over.

    Not to mention the fact they are selling us the plastic scissors and playground equipment made out of nerf with nothing but rounded edges.

    /pats self on back for probably ingesting lead based paint at some point in my youth and surviving

  • Knightro

    BAM! I took a shot to my right eye.

    Would have passed safely over trey’s head…then or now.

  • Triston27

    /pats self on back for probably ingesting lead based paint at some point in my youth and surviving

    Don’t forget third degree burns from the metal slides, or playground equipment at McDonalds.

  • Knightro

    Don’t forget third degree burns from the metal slides, or playground equipment at McDonalds.

    As I recall my youth (to the best of my ability) I liken it to playing barefoot in a junkyard/salvage depot everyday. Can’t believe the government didn’t ban trees because I fell out of scores of them from some pretty frightening heights.

    I can remember using some construction scaffolding in our neighborhood to make “bridge” with a foot wide plank. We’d walk out to the middle of the plank and have bullwhip fights trying to knock each other off. Injuries? Well, duh.

    Also, there were no McDonald’s playgrounds when I was a kid. Just burgers and a questionable clown.

    /old’d

  • Triston27

    Also, there were no McDonald’s playgrounds when I was a kid. Just burgers and a questionable clown.

    Well, you’re not missing anything that a branding iron can’t provide.

  • John G aka Shatner

    I can’t believe that they thought this wouldn’t create a backlash. Government getting way too involved in everything.