Jose Canseco is Brimming With Integrity

This past Saturday, Jose Canseco was scheduled to take on Billy Padden in a “celebrity” boxing match at a nightclub at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino.  In exchange for his participation, Canseco was to receive $10,000, and an extension on his already-past-its-expiration-date 15 minutes of post-baseball fame.  Sounds like a great idea, right?  Former MLB star and admitted steroid user pummels some guy you’ve never heard of before a crowd of 400 people at a casino, for 10 grand?  Should be a winner all around.  Canseco’s probably not finding many jobs that pay tens of thousands of dollars for a night’s worth of work, the casino gets a freakshow to draw in some gamblers, and Padden gets a chance to beat up someone famous.  Unfortunately, that’s not quite how it turned out.

It seems that instead of honoring his obligation, and earning his $10,000 purse (half of which was paid upon agreement on the fight), the self-proclaimed only honest man in baseball, who some believe should be in the Hall of Fame, sent his twin brother Ozzie in his stead.  Ozzie showed up to the weigh in on Friday, and then showed up to fight on Saturday.  If only they’d let him fight with his shirt on, Ozzie and his scumbag brother would never have been found out.  Turns out that Jose has some tattoos on his biceps that Ozzie doesn’t have.  The tattoos were visible in pre-fight marketing photos, but when Ozzie showed up on fight night, they weren’t there.  Brilliant.  Not only is Jose Canseco a dirtbag who doesn’t honor his obligations, he’s also a moron.

Canseco received praise from some quarters when he wrote his tell-all book about steroids in baseball, but there were some folks that saw his actions for what they were: an attempt to further profit off of his cheating, while absolving himself of blame, rather than some sense of altruism.  With each episode that is revealed in the ongoing saga that is the life of Jose Canseco, we are all a little more assured that this guy is a first class dirtbag, and he deserves none of our time and/or attention.  Here’s hoping that he goes away sooner rather than later.

  • ButtersBC

    So did Ozzie fight then?

  • arkbadger

    just for fun I googled Billy Padden to see what kind of celebrity status he really has. apparently he is a “boxer” with a career record of 1-6. impressive.

  • younglefty

    So did Ozzie fight then?

    No, once the ruse was discovered, the event was cancelled, and the company is stopping payment on the remaining $5,000 they paid to Ozzie (who they thought was Jose), which came in the form of check, originally made payable to Jose Canseco, but subsequently made payable to cash, on the request of Ozzie (who they thought was Jose).

  • cabbage

    for what it’s worth i think he got $100,000 for being on the Apprentice.

  • Trey

    If I were Ozzie I would have worn long sleeves and one of those wrestling masks.

  • thatssotaguchi

    I hate when criminals fail because it makes the smart, successful criminals look bad.

  • Trey

    Can you imagine is Jose sent Ozzie to the plate when he was being grossly unpaid late in his career? He would have hit like .210 or something.

  • clayton

    grossly unpaid

    I think that’s what’s happening to the IRS right now at the hands of Canseco.

    P.S. This blog has entered its afternoon siesta which lasts till tomorrow at 9am.

  • patphish

    Awesome content Lefty.

  • TexansFan

    theres some shark chum at tbl right now if any of you feel like getting banned

    /something to talk about around these parts

  • TheSportsHernia

    What’s most interesting is how often Jose Canseco changes the color of his eyes.

  • TheSportsHernia

    /forgot “;”

  • Sanders

    Canseco’s spelling on Twitter is just horrendous.

  • spencer096

    loved this patrick bateman bit about canseco…

    And, finally, most depressing of all, all those perfunctory sex acts with Jose, doggy style in front of a mirror so Jose can watch himself perform, his chest muscles and biceps twitching as he works.


  • younglefty

    /forgot “;”


  • vez

    type of the devil!

    i still respect canseco more than mcgwire or clemens or bonds sosa or palmeiro…i guess more than any of the mopes who keep lying

    rose is banned for life and we still have people arguing about whether mcgwire, bonds are HOF

  • Harry0501

    before you post here , do your research. You googled Billy Padden for fun and found that he had an impressive record of 1-6. Did you read that was from 1912-1917. Which by my calculations would have made him nearly 100 years old and from the u.k.

    This Billy Padden is a tough SOB from Philly and has been training celebrities and boxers for years. Many of them fight for Don King now.
    Moral of the story..Do your homework before opening your hole!!